Scrierile mele despre viaţă: ...

11/20/10

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Peste cateva zile, toamna de anul acesta va fi o amintire, cel putin daca privim lucrurile din punct de vedere calendaristic. In fiecare an, am urat toamna si asteptam ca ea sa treaca cat mai repede....si in special luna noiembrie. Insa, acum, nu mi-a displacut, dimpotriva. Poate pentru ca a fost o toamna linistita, cu vreme placuta, dar mai probabil, pentru ca de un timp am invatat sa ma bucur de lucrurile marunte ale vietii. Am invatat sa nu mai ma intristez atunci cand privesc in trecut sau atunci cand vad clasicul covor multicolor de frunze, ci sa ma gandesc la conceptul de renastere si sa zambesc.

Am invatat ca mult mai important decat anotimpul de afara, este cel din suflet. Nu conteaza daca in lumea exterioara este iarna, daca in sufletul tau este primavara sau vara, dupa caz ...
Am invatat sa nu ma mai las influentata de oamenii sau de lucrurile fara relevanta in viata mea, ci sa le indragesc pe cele care imi lumineaza sufletul, ochii si mintea. Poate ca am invatat sa traiesc cu adevarat in ultima perioada sau poate m-au incercat doar sentimente pozitive...acele sentimente de care uitasem, dar se pare ca ele nu uitasera de mine in totalitate... Sunt acele sentimente greu de explicat, definit, care nu se lovesc de lumea materiala in care traim, uneori, fara un scop precis. Au fost denumite, traduse, dar cum sa explici ceva ce nu are nevoie de explicatii...

Dar, ma trezesc...poate e doar un vis ... insa zambesc, stiind ca visele sunt aripi cu care oamenii zboara spre cer.

"If it doesn't come bursting out of you in spite of everything, don't do it. Unless it comes unasked out of your heart and your mind and your mouth and your gut, don't do it. If you have to sit for hours staring at your computer screen or hunched over your typewriter searching for words, don't do it. If you're doing it for money or fame, don't do it. If you're doing it because you want women in your bed, don't do it. If you have to sit there and rewrite it again and again, don't do it. If it's hard work just thinking about doing it, don't do it. If you're trying to write like somebody else, forget about it. If you have to wait for it to roar out of you, then wait patiently. If it never does roar out of you, do something else. If you first have to read it to your wife or your girlfriend or your boyfriend or your parents or to anybody at all, you're not ready. Don't be like so many writers, don't be like so many thousands of people who call themselves writers, don't be dull and boring and pretentious, don't be consumed with self-love. The libraries of the world have yawned themselves to sleep over your kind. Don't add to that. Don't do it. Unless it comes out of your soul like a rocket, unless being still would drive you to madness or suicide or murder, don't do it. Unless the sun inside you is burning your gut, don't do it. When it is truly time, and if you have been chosen, it will do it by itself and it will keep on doing it until you die or it dies in you. There is no other way. And there never was." - Charles Bukowski

“Sit down. Inhale. Exhale. The gun will wait. The lake will wait. The tall gall in the small seductive vial will wait will wait: will wait a week: will wait through April. You do not have to die this certain day. Death will abide, will pamper your postponement. I assure you death will wait. Death has a lot of time. Death can attend to you tomorrow. Or next week. Death is just down the street; is most obliging neighbor; can meet you any moment. You need not die today. Stay here–through pout or pain or peskyness. Stay here. See what the news is going to be tomorrow. Graves grow no green that you can use. Remember, green’s your color. You are Spring.”